Unearthly Whiz, illustrated by Stefan G. Bucher

As I've approached artists for this book, I have been telling them truthfully that
I would be "backflippingly thrilled" to get a piece from them. Since March,
I have turned a lot of back flips, figuratively.
The incredible Stefan G. Bucher, warned me off attempting a literal one,
but getting this piece from him brought me close to endangering myself and others
with spontaneous acrobatics. 
Here's "Unearthly whiz," illustrated by Stefan G. "The Daily Monster" Bucher.

You can play along with Stefan with The Daily Monster app!

 Unearthly Whiz

         Initially sparked by the documentary, Wretches & Jabberers

A’s for appearance, the first shapes one sees,

and mine don’t help to make my beauty’s case.

Beard bramble, beach-ball belly, buzzard eyes,

bottom bite—and bejesus, what a face—

cleave all my encounters to choppy seas.

Do you think you’d do with a self like this:

a knack for remunerative visions

but no rein on the way you come across?

My gifts for profit get badly shaken

by swiveled necks, bulged eyes and guts that seize.

Fed up with shrugging off being blown off,

I started to keep my trumpet muted.

I’ve mucked through anger and introversion—

but it couldn’t last. If you’re like me, friend,

you’ve your fair share of shareable genius.

So we aim to express it before zed:

what we’ve got here is the premium blend.